.Tuesday, July 13, 2004 Y
Hiyo!
Been really tired, stressed out and depressed these few days. Seemed to be thinking alot of the past lately. Thinking of the words he said, the things we done and the memories we had. Really, its difficult to forget. How to? Accumulated seven months of memories. That's quite a lot. I used to think that we don't have enough memories, compared to many others. If we had accumulated somemore, maybe my world will come crashing down. I dunno and I dare not think about that.
He promised me time and again that he will not leave me, but he still did. He promised me that he will take care of me forever because I didn't know how to take care of myself, but he lied. He said that he will keep me in his heart forever, even if he had another girlfriend or even have a wife in the future, he will still love me and remember the memories, I wonder if they are true. He promised not to hate me in exchange with a break-up, but he lied. He promised a friendship in exchange with me forgetting him, but he lied. Actually, I myself know that, on the day we break, he will stop loving me and might even hate me one day, but I didn't know that this would come so soon. I didn't know that this day would come right after one day of fun with him at his house, playing tickling like two children, running around the house. It was just one day after this fun, and he started to changed his attitude towards me. Unexpectable, isn't it? I didn't expect it too.
Remembered once, after we break, we went to a bowling centre for a game. He treat me to those games and when he injured his hand, he asked me to kiss it for him. When he got down the bus, he still waved at me good-bye. That day, I was really very happie. I thought that things might change. He might come back. But, no. He didn't. He started to change his attitude towards me. Looks like everything wasn't real. It seems like those days after we break, the fun we had, were all a dream to me. Its like, when I wake up, everything changed back to normal, I had to go back to reality. If its really like that, I wanna sleep forever. I wanna dream forever. Like that, maybe he will never leave me. Maybe I could still have kept him by my side. Maybe.. Maybe.. Maybe...
waiting for you right here
9:07:00 PM
