*siGh*

Its the 29 August today... again. And on this day, I met another guy. Another guy oso by the name Francis. Only that he is not the Francis that I have been mentioning on my past few posts. Wonder what he is doing on this day of the year. Seriously, I'm missing him. I dun care if he's still reading my blog.. I dun care if he reads them. But, I really do miss him. I couldn't sleep last night coz I was thinking of him. And, because of this, someone said that it was silly of me. After that, I cried. I dunno if it was because of the words, or isit because of him.. *siGh*

I tried very hard to spend this whole day meaningfully and not to think about him. But I can't. I still will wonder if he's still angrie. I wanted very much to call and ask him. I wanted very much to try and add him on MSN again. But I dun dare. I'm afraid of rejection. He rejected my testimonial once. Now, I dunno. Maybe he still will. *siGh* I dunno.....

**Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.**

Haiz...

2 more days to go. 2 more days and its the 29th August. It was the day that our story started. Its supposed to be our one-year anniversary on that day. I was looking forward to it all along. But no more. These few days I have ben dreaming about him. Once, I dreamt that we patched up and he said I was different from the past me. I said I am different because you haven't been with me for 5 months. But, we were really happie. Happie like the past us. We played the games we used to play. Our classmates used to find us silly but maybe with the company of the other, we never felt so. When I woke up from that dream, I cried. I was back to reality. If I can only have him in my dreams, I rather sleep forever.

Another time, I dreamt that he asked Kleo to ask me to call him. I didn't want in the first place. I was scared of the negative so I didn't. In the end, he called me. He told me he was no longer angrie with me. I said okay. But still we didn't talk to each other. *siGh* Isit because the day is nearing, so I having more and more dreams about us? I dunno. Remembered clearly what happened on the 29 August 2003. Does he still remember? I dunno.

**I am happiest when I'm in my dreams. When I'm back to reality, everything changes back to normal. The dreams are sweet and beautiful, are what I want them to happen. But what you dream is what that will never come true....**

Hmm. Lets see. A nice Saturday I had.

Okay. Actually, we met yesterday so that he could pass me the money for the E-Fair coupons. But he was late! So poor me, with my leg hurting, have to walk around Entertainment Centre to pass time. Then, we went to eat "lunch". I used his phone and take a photo of him which was supposed to be ugly and I started laughing. When he saw it, he said that cannot take his photo until so ugly. Haha.

After that, he say want go arcade. So, we went to the arcade. He started playing "Street Fighter" with the tokens he changed. When he lost the game, he blamed me for talking to him and distracting him. So, I went to distract him more and start to anyhow press the buttons which I dunno means what. Haha. But, anyway, he won that game.

Then, because he had no small change to give me, he wanted to go popular and buy an assessment book! Believe it or not? Then, in the end, he walked out of popular and bought a copy of newspaper and a packet of sweet. Made me walk around Jurong East yesterday. Haha.
Anyway, he keep saying that he will be late meeting his friends. Lucky he wasn't late, or I will get all the blame again..*hmpH*. Haha..

**If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.**

Hiz!

Long time since I last updated. Not as free as before anymore though. Hmm, lets see. Wanted to meet him today 'cause he agreed to help me buy the sickening school's E-fair tickets. But I didn't get to see him and I left after that. And now, I can't find him. I'm quite worried though. As a friend, worried about him too. He can't possibly be still waiting there for me, right? I can't get him on his phone. Wonder where did he go. Really quite worried. Its like, he didn't turn up after almost 2 hours and I can't find him.

Hope to see him soon online. Lydat, I won't be that worried afterall even if I do get a scolding from him. Haiz. Not very good these days. Francis was sick the last two days. When he came back to school, he still look weak and didn't take part in the class lessons as he usually did. I want very much to care about him, at least to ask him how is he as a friend. But, he's not giving me the chance to do so. I dunno why. I dunno if he have start to forgive me. Haiz. Just hope everything turns out well for me...

**When I'm out, I hide my tears wif my laughters. But when I'm alone, my laughters are hidden by my tears.**

Hiyo!

Long time since I last updated. About one week plus? I'm starting to slack on my blog. Hehe. I used to have about an entry at least every two days. Anyway, nothing much happened last few days though. But one thing happened today!

I met him in the library today. It was so so embarrassing. I guessed he saw me and Kleo when we were there looking for books but he continued talking to his friends hoping that I won't notice. But I recognised the voice and asked Kleo. She said it was him. I didn't believe at first and she told me to call him. When I called, he looked up and smiled at me. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to walk away. Well, but it was blocked. He told me he was going off and I said okay. Haha. I was so happy + embarrassed that I didn't know what I was saying. Haha. Looks like if he kept quiet, then I really wont notice him. Haha. But his friends were like looking at me though. So embarrassed. Haha.

**Love is not something you hold in your hand but the thing you keep in your heart...**

Hiyo!

Nice day these few days. Wonder what has gone wrong with me, I actually become a book worm now. Haha. Because I have been reading books after books. So far, finished one book in three days and I am half way through another one.

I missing someone a lot more recently. Wonder why, I have been hoping that he wouuld come online. I am hoping that he will do well in his Prelims which starts after the National Day holidays and I hope that everything goes well for him for his 'N' Levels as well. He told me that he could get the first in class for his exams, hope he does so this time round.

**If you hear the wind whispering to you when I am not around, its me saying "I miss you..." **

Hiyo!

Today is the national day celebration in my school. I had so much fun. Haha. Hmm.. first, we went early in the morning to prepare for everything. We helped the boys in our class with the face paint and we sprayed our hair red and white. Then, it was time to vie for the "Most Patroitic Class" Award. Had much fun like attractting attention, singing the national athem out loud and also singing the national songs out loud. Haha. Really had a lot of fun. Though my class didn't win the award, I guessed we all had a lot of fun. Okay, I had a lot of fun. Haha. I hope they do too.

Hmm, lets talk about last few days. Just two days ago, someone told me that he liked me. And, I must admit, I do have this crush on him too. **shy** Haha. I never met him for once though. But always chat online and he often cheers me up and make me feel happier whenever I am down. Maybe this is why I will have that crush on him?.. Hehe. Though we are not together or what, I'm starting to feel being in love all over again and he's really sweet. **shy** Haha.

Maybe because he's too sweet. I'm scared. I have no confidence in myself. I have no confidence in what love and life have in store for me now. He told me to have confidece in him though. I have it in him, but not in myself and in love.

**To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.**

*siGh*

All alone at home. The whole night. Boring. In the past, if this happens, I would walk over to his house and accompany him for a while, at least until his parents are home. Or else, we would spent the night talking on the phone or chatting online on MSN - the whole night. Now, I have to be alone at home, watching tv, doing homework or waiting for a friend to be online. *siGh* A boring life, ever since he left me three months ago. I didn't know the relationship couldn't last. Maybe all my friends were right. I shouldn't give too much in a relationship until at least six months together. But, I didn't believe it. Partly coz he was really sweet and serious in ths relationship.

I give up. I lost. I lost to him. I lost the game of love. I just hope that he's doing fine now. I hope that I'll see him very happy next year with his results. I hope that he will find a girl he loves and loves him back. Okay, I admit. I don't really in my heart wants him to do so. But the rational side of me knows that I cannot stop him in this area. There will be a time when I will stop loving him too. When I no longer love him, I will also want him to find a girlfriend. *siGh* I myself also dunno wad I really want...

**Love is when the other person sets you free and yet you decide to stay by his side. Coz you are afraid that when you finally decide to come back, that person is already gone.**

Low JiaQian
01 October 1988
Libra
Staff Nurse

Graduation! - 22 MAy 2008
Sentosa Trip! - 26 July 2008
Trip to Night Safari! - 11 October 2008

kleo
chinnyi
francis
zeyan
grace
nathiya
6 babes
sue
huda
claire
chris
joo
jessica
shikin
caryn
lucius
mingli
kevin
chunkiat
xuanyou
bernard