Hehe.

Spent a great day with darling today. Tomorrow, starting work at my uncle's office already. Who ask I go and ask him about the work, pay very little. But, since relatives, anything then. But the start of this job means that I cannot see my darling as often already. This is office work so I get my leaves on weekends. But him, he can only take leaves on weekdays. So, we sort of clash in this part of our jobs. So sad. Thinking that we have to spend less time being together, I feel very down. I just hope that I can spend Christmas with him. I just hope that my aunt don't arrange her Christmas party on the 25th December as well.

Talk about today. Though we just spend our time lazing around, but the fact that he's beside me makes me feels different. I think, I'm back to that pampered me. I'm scared that he will leave me. He pampered me too much already. Like sometimes, I want him to piggyback me even short distances just because I'm lazy. Sometimes, he really do give in to me. Sometimes, when I asks for hugs and kisses on the cheek, he gives them as well. Sometimes, when I throw my temper, he says sorry and asks me if I'm angry. He treats me far too good. I don't want to be that spoilt girl anymore.

Just now on the phone, he told me that he will listen to whatever I say and do them. *So happy* But if I look at it at a different way, its another way of pampering me. What if one day, I say something and he doesn't do them, what will I do? Throw my temper at him? Scold him? I don't wanna do that. *siGh* Better don't think about that now. Just wish me all the best in this new found job and hope I don't give up halfway. Hehe.

I love you.

Hehe.

The almost one-month long 'O' Levels is finally over!!! Let's see. I went to the movies with laster and haster on Monday. Went to watch "Shutters". Quite a nice show. Scary though. Wow, it managed to scare Kleo. Haha. Cant see that very often. I learnt that I shouldn't let down any loved ones. Hehe. Before that, my dear Kleo also helped me dye my hair a bit. But guess the colour still wasn't obvious enough. Maybe I'll dye it again some other day.

Tuesday. We finshed our 'O' Levels that day. Well, one of my friend from China going back so we decided to plan a sort-of farewell party. But almost all the girls left. Leaving only me and Chinn Yi to cut the cake for the guys to eat. Then just went home already. Nothing much.

Then today, I went to Sentosa with Kleo, her hunny and my darling. Hehe. Well, but things didn't turn out very well. Lotsa things happened today. Kleo's bag was lost when we left the area for a while. Then, I guessed they quarrelled about some things. Guess we won't be going back to Sentosa beaches anymore. Also, I quarrelled with my darling today. Because he wasn't happy that I mentioned about Damian today. *siGh* He told me its jealousy. But, I really didn't mean it. I also dunno why. I'm just afraid that he will leave me one day just now at his house while he was playing the computer. Will he?

**I'm sorry darling. Though you ask me to stop apologising, but I still feel bad. I really didn't mean it. You also say already, he's my ex-stead. He also got girlfriend. Then, I also got you as my boyfriend. I oso wun lyk him again and he wun lyk me again. Dun get jealous already kaez? Sorry my dear...**

Lets see.

Long time since I last updated and Kleo is complaning. *Haha.* Anyway, last few weeks having 'O' Levels. Then, my life for that few days also quite boring. Its just studying, eating, sleeping and studying again. Almost everyone have finished their paper and I still have to struggle with the Biology paper. I really hope that its not too tough because I need to get quite high marks to pull my my overall Combined Science grades. *siGh* Stress. I dun feel like studying anymore. Everyone's having their holidays already.

I'm going to the beach with Kleo, her boyfriend and my darling on wednesday. *Hehe* Looking forward to that day. Its been a long time since I last went to play at the beach. Mayb about half a year already? My holidays are kinda planned so far. Going to the beach on Wednesday, then to Queensway on Thursday. Then, my camp starts on Monday and ends at Wednesday. Then maybe I'll call my uncle and ask about the job in his office again. Or else, I really have to look for a job outside because I dun wanna rot at home. Also, must earn some income for myself to spend. Hehe.

Hiyo!

Hmm.. Really wonder what's wrong with me on Thursday that made me put my such a post and think about HIM all over again. Anyway, since I've decided to throw that past away, I have to "abide" to my decision. Really had so much fun with my darling on Friday. Went over to accompany him again. Hehe. Actually, its that I'm bored and that I dun wanna go home after my A-maths paper on Friday. *Notti me..* Haha.

The 'O' Levels have started for one week already. Hmm.. I'm gald with the Social studies paper I handed in, quite gald with my Chinese because I think I didn't do as well for my Paper 2. Then, I think I wun do as well for English as in my Prelims. Then, Literature. Quite well done for the novel "I'm the King of the Castle" but not for the play "Twelfth Night". I realised some careless mistakes in my E-maths paper 1 only AFTER I handed in my paper. *Argh!* For my A-maths, I can guarantee only about 35-40 marks. Meaning, just passed. I'm used to it. If I can pass my A-maths, I'm happy. I dun hope to get a A1. Haha.

Next week, I only have to go back to school for my E-maths Paper 2 and Chemistry. *Oh my God!* How am I going to tackle the Chemistry Paper? I just hate Chemistry. I dun even feel like studying for that subject, but well, for the last time, its the last time I'm going to take a Chemistry exam. I have to score. I have to think of my aim of going into Singapore Poly, at least. Also, I must be a lot more careful in my E-maths Paper 2. Canot afford to lose some more marks!! I just hope to get a B4 or B3, like in the Prelims. I'm happy enough. I really dun hope for a A. The higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment. I dun like disappointments. I dun wanna disappoint myself. Haha. *I'm going crazy. Dun bother about me.*

*siGh*

Dun ask me why I sigh. I dunno the reason as well. I regretted. Maybe not a lot. But I still regretted. I regretted giving it all up so early. I dun mean that I dun love my darling. Well, I do love him. But, I regret for not being able to keep my promises. Sometimes, I wonder if he's still angrie. I wonder what is he doing at that moment. I wonder if he had studied for the examinations. I dunno why. Maybe a part of me is still with him. His kisses and whispers still linger. Maybe I still miss him. I'm confused myself.

Are we still friends? You said you will be my forever friend. Do we still have the chance of being friends again? Have you completed the puzzle? I dun hate him. I dunno why. I can't make myself hate him. I also cant say that I still love him. Is there still feelings for him? I dunno. I wonder if he found someone that he will be happie with. *If you find someone who you love and loves you deeply, love her as much as you love me in the past. Treat her the way you treated me in the past. Its sweet. Very sweet.* I dunno if he's still reading my blog. I have somewhat lost contact with him. Must the relationship end this way?

Am I happy with my life now? Or am I not? I have everything that everyone wants. I've got a perfect family, a boyfriend who dotes on me, close friends all around me, a nice home, a more carefree life and more money now. What else can I ask for? I'm happy with my life. I want to lead my life in happiness. Its because I promised him. He wants me to find my own happiness. I want to be happy every single day, because I promised him. What about him? Have he found his happiness? Is he leading his life in happily as well? Where do I get my answers? I will never find them... Maybe I still miss you. Do you still....?

**I'm sorry ling.. I love you. I miss you too. Its just that I'm used to taking some time off my everyday to miss him. Don't worry. I wun leave you, I promise...... -MuAcKz-*

Low JiaQian
01 October 1988
Libra
Staff Nurse

Graduation! - 22 MAy 2008
Sentosa Trip! - 26 July 2008
Trip to Night Safari! - 11 October 2008

kleo
chinnyi
francis
zeyan
grace
nathiya
6 babes
sue
huda
claire
chris
joo
jessica
shikin
caryn
lucius
mingli
kevin
chunkiat
xuanyou
bernard