Counting down to 2005...

2004. What can I say about this year for me? Eventful? I dunno. 2003 was more eventful. Haha. 2004 was more saddening for me. Hmm.. firstly, a relationship ended early this year. But well I got over it already. Then, gotta know some new friends, like Yao Quan, my darling and 2 more on 23 Dec. Then, on 19 Dec, I heard from Kleo a death of someone. Although I dunno him, but I always hear about him from Kleo. When Kleo told me the news, I was shocked. Life is just so vulnerable. Some more, on Boxing Day, tsunami attack on some of the asian countries. Well, one of my uncle was on an overseas working trip to one of the countires, Maldives. When I heard about it, I was so afraid to hear of any bad news. But, at least we contacted him and know that he's fine.

Only just, I heard from my mother that one of the Singaporean little girl, was found dead by her father because of the tsunami. Gosh! Though I dunno her, I really felt sorry. She was so young. She haven experienced life enough. She haven got enough education, got married, gave birth.... Guess I'm too emotional here. But well, I really feel sorry for those who lost thier lives in that attack. Life is just so unpredictable. What if one day, I lose my darling as well? I don't mean in this kinda of circumstances. I'm just afraid of losing him to time. Here I am again, letting my thoughts run wild. I can get my sleep for tonight and who knows what might happen to me tomorrow? Well, I'm planning to get my hair cut and dyed tomorrow. I have to wake up early. *Yawn* Waiting for 12 to wish some of my friends happy new year.

Resolutions for 2005:
- If I get into a JC [which most likely not since I'm already dying my hair], I'll study real hard and aim for NIE for my 'A' levels in 2006.
- If I get into poly, study hard in whichever course I'm taking, most likely business, and stop thinking so much about PLAYING!!
- Save more money for my expenditures!!
- Build a better relationship with my family and friends.
- Last important one. Start doing excerises to slim down! I'm getting fat, really fat!!! Do about 25 sit-ups every night before I sleep. [I hope I can abide to this.......=x]

These should be all. I can't think of anything else.
Entry completed at: 11.38 pm 22 more minutes to 2005!
**Time could never dim my love for you, because with every beat of my heart, I only want you more. Darling, I miss you lots... Did you miss me? Haha...**

Wow. 2004 is coming to an end. Time seems to pass so quickly.

Looking back at year 2004, so many things had happened. Thinking back of it, the whole thing seems like a video, playing back every single moment. All my memories. Having to study and work hard for the 'O' Levels, having to study for the Prelims and mock papers, meeting up with my darling, getting to know him, getting to know about Yao Quan, us waiting for each other to be online, crying for my ex-boyfriend, being with him for the first three months of the year. Everything is playing back. Guess the only thing that I will regret for this year is not being able to be friends with him again. Perhaps, its really tough to make it up with someone you have been so close with in the past.

Actually, wanted to ask my darling if he wanted to countdown with me if I can go out at night tomorrow because Kleo asked me out to countdown. So, wanted to ask him along too. But, I think he has got his own programmes that night with his friends. So, think I'll have to forget it.

Sometimes, I'm so afraid, so scared that I will lose my darling to someone else, lose him to time. He becomes part of my life, being an important someone in my life. Me? He says I'm important to him, very very important. I really hope its true. Everyone says he really loves me a lot. But, I'm still scared. Scared that I will lose him one day. Will I, ling? I know he promised time and again that he will not leave me, that he will love me forever, but the wierd me still afraid. *siGh*

**Being in love is like strawberry; its sweet. Quarrelling is like chilli; its hot and spicy. Missing someone is like bittergourd; its bitter and painful. Jealousy is like lemon; its sour. But by putting them all together, its the wonderful memories of being in love. [Actually, this one is translated by a chinese quote.] Darling, I really miss you a lot!**

Hehe. Today is the 26th already. Time passes so fast...

Hmm, let me talk about yesterday. Christmas, and I had two parties to attend. *Oh gosh!* And I felt bad not accompanying my darling for a longer time. One of the christmas parties was organised by him and his friends. I went for the bbq for about 3 hours at Sembawang and left in a rush to attend my auntie's at Katong, her new house. Her new house was beautiful. I don't think I can ever afford it. Well, she married a rich husband. Haha. Her new house is actually a penthouse, with a roof garden. Somemore, its a new condo that has just completed building and is freehold. Hmm, the house has full length window and the view at night is beautiful! Her interior was simple but its expensive stuffs. Okay, enough of that.

My darling's bbq was great too. He borrowed his friend's hostel in Singapore, which is a bungalow. He cooked food for me and also had white wine. *Wow* Haha. He was the first boyfriend that I was able to spend Christmas with. I'm also his first girlfriend, well, that's what he said. He also told me that I left a good impression on his friends. Hehe. That's good. At least, his friends don't hate me. That's good. Hehe. Kleo and her stead, Benjamin was also there. Me, her, her stead and another friend sat on the swing and think we swing it too hard, the swing moved forward! I got a shocked when I felt the swing "fly". We didn't manage to get the thing back to its original postion though. Not enough strength. I dunno if the others managed to. =x

**All my life I was afraid that I would never find love. Now that I’ve found it, I’m afraid that I will lose it. I realise how true it is, only until now. Darling, I love you lots!**

Haha. I know its still Christmas Eve only.

But well, I'm already in the Christmas mood already. Maybe its because I got my first Christmas present already. Hehe. Its from my uncle. Well, he gave it to all his staff. Guess what I got? Hehe. I got the white wine [isit called like that? Or did I just direct translate it?] Going to spend this Christmas with darling. So excited about it. Haha. Our first Christmas together, second occasion to celebrate. I'm missing him lots. Hmm.. wierd me.

I heard the song "Last Christmas" on radio just now. Somehow I find it quite true for me. But maybe it will be even more suitable for me last year. Hehe. Some should know why. 2002 christmas, I gave my heart to [erm..] Damian. Well, the next day I cried about something. Sounds like the lyrics? =x Actually, I thought about Damian because Si Wei reminded me that we broke up 2 years ago on this day. I actually felt very bad about it. In chinese, Christmas Eve is called "ping an ye", yet I hurt him so much by ending a 10-month relationship. In the past, I regretted it a lot because I got lots of "hurts" in love life after that. I often thought that if I didn't end the relationship, maybe it wouldn't turn out this way. But now, maybe its all just pure fate and destiny. I believe if I and him are meant to be together, we will be somehow.

**It takes a second to notice someone, an hour to like someone, a day to fall in love with someone and a lifetime to forget them.**

	Love-a-Lot Bear You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

Hmm. Now I'm at work.

But, there's nothing much for me to do. No phone calls to answer. No letters for me to record to be posted out. No letters coming in yet. Basically, there's nothing for me to do. I'm still thinking if I wanna continue working at my uncle's office for January. I'm starting to get sick and tired of working. Have to wake up so early in the morning and I cant spend a lot of time with my darling. *siGh* I think I am like sacrificing him. Thats so bad of me.

Hmm, anyway, also nothing much happened during these few days so also nothing much to blog in either. =x But, I'm missing my classmates. School's out and I wonder how are they now. Although for some that I seldom talk to, I still miss that noisy and naughty 4E6. Haha. Hope they are all getting along fine anyway. Kaez, think I also gotta go. I'll update as soon as possible!

**Darling, I miss you...**

Hehe.

Tough working life. Last few days have been going down to Sun Plaza for dinner with my darling. Or else, if he takes off, he will come and pick me up and we'll have dinner together. Kleo found a job as well. But I guess she's getting bored with it. Haha. Never blogged in recently because also nothing much happened.

Yesterday, after work, went to meet my darling, Kleo and her stead. Well, she seems happy with this one. Wish her all the best in the relationship! Hehe. Today, I also found out that Yao Quan passed his N Levels and will be able to promote to Sec 5. Also wanna wish him all the best in the new school year. Its going to be tough. But I guess he'll be able to manage it well because he's always good in his studies.

Wonder isit too long I didn't blog in. Just find that there's nothing much for me to talk about. Maybe after I started working, my life just became duller. *siGh* Thats so discouraging. Anyway, today during working hours, I played Monopoly with the receptionist sitting beside me coz she's teaching me the basics of a receptionist and I'm supposed to take pver her work for the next week. How I wish I could sit there after she comes back from her leave. Sometimes, its really bored sitting alone. At least when I sit with her, I have someone to talk to, joke with and play games with. Hmm.. Am I starting to miss her? Haha.

**Darling, every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure... There so many moments. Hehe. There'll be a lot more. Don't think about what will happen when you go NS. 6 more months ma. You want me promise I wun leave you.. I promise you that... Hehe.**

Hmm. Lets see.

Long time since I last blogged in. About a week? *siGh* Just too tired after everyday to touch the computer. Its really tough working outside and tiring. Everyday have to wake up early in the morning. I just can't seem to get enough sleeping hours. Actually, also nothing much happened this week. First time that I missed my darling so much though. Well, I actually did something that I didn't thought I would do so. Hehe. He know can already. *Shhhh....*

He gave me a pleasant surprise today! Hehe. He actually turned up outside my office after my work today. Although I sort of guessed it, but I didn't put too much hope in it though. I don't want to have great disappointment. Anyway, it was really a pleasant surprise for me. I've been thinking so much about him these few days. He came just to have dinner with me and see me home. So sweet of him. Hehe. But its been a long time since he last called just to say "I miss you". He used to do that. I told Kleo it won't last. She told me it will. Looks like I'm right this time. Every night I'm waiting for this special sweet call. But it doesn't seem to come. Lets just hope that he will do it soon. Hehe.

**"The spaces in between your fingers were created so that another person's finger can fit them in." Have you found that person? Or has he slipped though your fingers? Maybe I found mine. But, this time, I'll hold them even tighter. I won't let them slip through my fingers so easily anymore....**

Low JiaQian
01 October 1988
Libra
Staff Nurse

Graduation! - 22 MAy 2008
Sentosa Trip! - 26 July 2008
Trip to Night Safari! - 11 October 2008

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