.Thursday, March 24, 2005 Y
Wow.. Its one whole week since I last updated. Hmm.. Many things happened within this one week..
Where should I start? Okay, I think it was Sunday night. I had a big quarrel with my darling. You know something? Its our first really big quarrel. At that point of time, we seem to have forgotten that we are not supposed to fight. Hmm, a big quarrel becuase we really shouted at each other. The first time I shouted at him and the first time he shouted at me. I cried. The second time he made me cry. Guys... Promises aren't meant to be broken. He broke his. He made me cry so terribly. Okay, anyway, he did say sorry after that.
Then, on the 22nd of this month, I recieved my JAE posting. I got my very last choice! How could that be? I put all the courses with a high aggregate. And I got my last choice - nursing. The first few was like business [I know I wun get in that, but i put for hope..], then business IT. Last year business IT need 19 i think to get in. This year, its 17 or even 15. Why is those getting good grades coming to fight the place with us? *siGh* Then, I went to appeal yesterday. If it's really unsuccessful then forget it. I'll accept my fate. Maybe I'll earn lots with this courses. Haha. *DrEaMinG*
I need to continue my work now... Update next time..
waiting for you right here
1:12:00 PM
.Friday, March 11, 2005 Y
Hmm.. I dunno why. I just felt like updating.
I was chatting with this ex-stead of mine and I found out something. It seems like the both of us will always care for the other one, whether we are friends or lovers. This person is Si Wei. Though we had quite a long relationship, we broke up in the end. I admit at that point of time, I regretted. But now, I learnt not to regret anything. After the relationship we had a really big quarrel, over my new boyfriend. But in the end, until the beginning of 2003, we made it up again. On mIRC. So coincidentally, I went in there to download songs. It was there that we met each other. Hmm, sounds so dramatic? Anyway, I can say we are now good friends? I can tell him anything in the world that is troubling me, just like I can confide in Chinn Yi and Kleo. Somehow, I can trust him. *Darling, dun anyhow think ar... we are just good good friends now.. hehe..*
I confided in him when I broke up with my recent ex-stead. Now, he's so depressed. We can just ask each other anything about the past us, without us feeling awkward. Like, sometimes he'll ask if I still kept the pressies he gave me and was he treated me back then. I don't feel that the love is still there. All I feel is there is wonderful memories for me to look back at. That's why I shouldn't regret anything that happened between me and him. We got together and we broke up, not say peacefully, but at least we are friends again.
Every relationship is a new chapter in my life. Whether isit memorable, colourful or interesting, I have to leave it to the person who's writing that chapter of my life. I'm sure most of them are. It only matters how I remember them, right? I can remember all the plus points of the relationship, then it'll be so memorable. Somehow, I think I'm starting to talk crap. Haha. Gotta go call my darling already.
waiting for you right here
11:06:00 PM
.Tuesday, March 08, 2005 Y
*siGh* This gonna be a long entry. If you think you might be bored with it, then close the window k?
I guess they are unhappy with the results and they are picking on me. Can't they just understand? So what if my sister can do well? She got the brains. That's it. I'm stupid. The fact is this. What must they try to change or even dun accept the fact? Yes, I scored real badly for my 'O's. I admit. So? What do you want me to do? Go and die by jumping off the building? Everyone got their limits. I dunno how long can I stand you all. I may just flare up and leave the house. I mean it. Let me tell you why.
On Thursday, I took an off-day from work. Partly to rest and also to really have some time to consider what course should I take. Early in the morning, my dad scolded me. For what? For not yet submitting my JAE application. I cannot decide on my own which to put first. If I put it without asking them, they scold me for doing things without thier consent. If I wait for them to discuss, he scolds me for taking my own sweet time. He even said, "results already not good, still like that...". Like what? What did I do? Surfing the net is wrong??!!
On Saturday, everything was okay in the morning. At night, they came charging me at again. For talking on the phone. If you scold me for doing that, then you all also dun talk on the phone. As my air-con in the room is leaking, so we had to put a pail to prevent the floor from being wet. In the room, there is me and my sister. all of them insist that I should be the one to pour the water to prevent the mosquitoes. I said, "Okay, I'll do it later..". Immediately, the reply was, "Ask you do it now then you do it now. Better change your attitude. Stop acting like a gangster...". *What the heck??!!* Say I'll do it later is acting like a gangster? What is the world coming to? That's not all.
On Sunday. At 8.00 pm. I was watching my television programme and my brother wants to watch it on another channel. And I'm supposed to let him watch his show. Okay, you all might say that I'm selfish cuz my show do repeat on the next Sunday morning. Anyway, I didn't want to. Reason: On that same week, Monday. I wanted to watch a television programme that is on Channel 8 and my brother is watching his on Channel 56(a SCV channel). That show has a repeat for lile TWO times for that week. And he insisted on watching his show. He was being selfish. So I did the same to him. My mother started shouting at me to let him watch. I explained to her and my sister why I didn't want to let him watch. they said I was selfish. Then my brother? Maybe you might say its childish. Well, I admit. But this time round, my dad was more understanding. He kept quiet.
Today. My dad so-called "spolied" the computer. He couldn't run the computer and it was so damn lagging. The moment I reached home, my mother criticised my dressing. She said it looks like "Ah Lian". Hello??!! That's so-called a working kinda outfit. So she's trying to say what she wear everyday looks like "Ah Lian" as well? Hello??!! This doesn't make sense. That's not all. She started scolding me because of the computer, saying its all my fault. She said that I have too many songs stored in the computer. I managed to get it fixed. And you know what? My dad went to use and it crashed again. So isit my fault that the com is down?? ENTIRELY MINE??
I'm so pissed off my them. Everything I do for the past few days is wrong. PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING. I'm losing my temper and my paitience. I dunno how long can I last like that. If I get a heart attack in the future, you know why.
waiting for you right here
10:32:00 PM
.Friday, March 04, 2005 Y
Long time never update already.. I'll summarise my week.
Monday. 28/02/05. Release of the 'O' Levels results. I was very anxious, hoping that I would get good results. I went for half day of work today as there was a lot of things to clear. Then, my darling came down to accompany take results. Also, finally get to meet up with my happy two friends for lunch[add me then is happy three friends already.. =p] Anyway, when I heard that both sciences had 100% passes, I was, okay, not veri happy, but at least relieved that I passed my Physics and Bio/Chem. In the most important exam, I passed them both together. Usually, i pass one and will fail the other. Recieved so many sms-es that were asking me about my results. After that, walked around with Kleo at Jurong Point.
Tuesday. 01/03/05. My darling left my passport with me, so I had to bring it down for him after work. Hmm, also nothing much. Just everybody in the office asking me about my results and where I intend to go. Again.
Wednesday. 02/03/05. Took the day off to collect my CCA testimonial thingy. Got an A1 for my CCA. Hey, I got one A1. Haha. Then, I went to Ngee Ann Poly with Kleo to take a look at the courses and all. Went to look for darling again. This time, to take back my ice box that Farook returned to me on Monday.
Thursday. 03/03/05. Woke up at 7 but I didn't feel like going to work. So I just sms-ed my collegue and told her I was not feeling well. I know its a lie, but I dun feel like going to work and slacked at home the whole day. Hmm, one day less for my pay. $50 gone just to slack at home. Expensive. Haha. Had a small quarrel with my darling. I dunno isit considered a quarrel though. But, I know my attitude towards him for the past few days was terribly bad. So he kinda flared up a little. He told me what he friends told him. Only then, I realised how much he has done for me and how much I mean to him. I was so guilty. But I really dunno what made me give him the attitude. I cried before I sleep.
Friday. 04/03/05. I become a good girl and went home for dinner. Hehe.
**Darling, I'm really sorry for what I have done. It was really not on purpose. I'm sorry. I love you still...**
waiting for you right here
7:44:00 PM
