.Tuesday, March 08, 2005 Y
*siGh* This gonna be a long entry. If you think you might be bored with it, then close the window k?
I guess they are unhappy with the results and they are picking on me. Can't they just understand? So what if my sister can do well? She got the brains. That's it. I'm stupid. The fact is this. What must they try to change or even dun accept the fact? Yes, I scored real badly for my 'O's. I admit. So? What do you want me to do? Go and die by jumping off the building? Everyone got their limits. I dunno how long can I stand you all. I may just flare up and leave the house. I mean it. Let me tell you why.
On Thursday, I took an off-day from work. Partly to rest and also to really have some time to consider what course should I take. Early in the morning, my dad scolded me. For what? For not yet submitting my JAE application. I cannot decide on my own which to put first. If I put it without asking them, they scold me for doing things without thier consent. If I wait for them to discuss, he scolds me for taking my own sweet time. He even said, "results already not good, still like that...". Like what? What did I do? Surfing the net is wrong??!!
On Saturday, everything was okay in the morning. At night, they came charging me at again. For talking on the phone. If you scold me for doing that, then you all also dun talk on the phone. As my air-con in the room is leaking, so we had to put a pail to prevent the floor from being wet. In the room, there is me and my sister. all of them insist that I should be the one to pour the water to prevent the mosquitoes. I said, "Okay, I'll do it later..". Immediately, the reply was, "Ask you do it now then you do it now. Better change your attitude. Stop acting like a gangster...". *What the heck??!!* Say I'll do it later is acting like a gangster? What is the world coming to? That's not all.
On Sunday. At 8.00 pm. I was watching my television programme and my brother wants to watch it on another channel. And I'm supposed to let him watch his show. Okay, you all might say that I'm selfish cuz my show do repeat on the next Sunday morning. Anyway, I didn't want to. Reason: On that same week, Monday. I wanted to watch a television programme that is on Channel 8 and my brother is watching his on Channel 56(a SCV channel). That show has a repeat for lile TWO times for that week. And he insisted on watching his show. He was being selfish. So I did the same to him. My mother started shouting at me to let him watch. I explained to her and my sister why I didn't want to let him watch. they said I was selfish. Then my brother? Maybe you might say its childish. Well, I admit. But this time round, my dad was more understanding. He kept quiet.
Today. My dad so-called "spolied" the computer. He couldn't run the computer and it was so damn lagging. The moment I reached home, my mother criticised my dressing. She said it looks like "Ah Lian". Hello??!! That's so-called a working kinda outfit. So she's trying to say what she wear everyday looks like "Ah Lian" as well? Hello??!! This doesn't make sense. That's not all. She started scolding me because of the computer, saying its all my fault. She said that I have too many songs stored in the computer. I managed to get it fixed. And you know what? My dad went to use and it crashed again. So isit my fault that the com is down?? ENTIRELY MINE??
I'm so pissed off my them. Everything I do for the past few days is wrong. PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING. I'm losing my temper and my paitience. I dunno how long can I last like that. If I get a heart attack in the future, you know why.
waiting for you right here
10:32:00 PM
