I was thinking about him last night. I wanted so much to know what he's doing right now. But I can't. I no longer have the right - I gave up this right myself. I can blame no one except myself. I guess I regretted? But well, no use anymore.

Going for attachments again tomorrow. I just hope the staffs in the ward that I'll be going is nice and friendly.

I ended my 17-month relationship today. I'm feeling so guilty. Heard from Kleo he's drinking all my himself. I called and told him not to drink so much. I hope he understands that I'm going through the same torture. I still love him just that I felt that the relationship is so empty, felt that we drifted apart. I'm so so sorry.

Thursday, 23 February 2006.
Finished my Semestral Exams - finally! Guess its just pure luck. The topic I studied last minute came out. Or isit that necklace? It just always seem to bring me luck. If is like that, I have to thank Francis[Tan]? Lols.

Went out with Kleo to Orchard after the Biology Paper to window-shop. Something really funny happened. We went at "Urban Warehouse" Lingerie Section and she was on a long-distance call. Suddenly, she shouted, "My toe cramp! Toe cramp!" Then, I started laughing lah. Then, when she wanted to stand up, she shouted again, "Toe cramp! Toe cramp!" Lols. So, she ended up squatting there at about 10 mins? Because everytime she stood up, her toe will cramp. There was no chair somemore! Then, when we were at the shoe section, I asked her, "So what time are you meeting Kain? Er, your Kain." Because I was meeting someone by the name of Kayne too. Then, she replied "Oh! We are going to meet Kaynes!" The way she said it, I was laughing while she was trying on almost every shoe she thought was nice. Everybody was like looking at us! We left each other at about 6.45pm? Because we went to meet Kaynes.

Friday, 24 February 2006.
Went to Party World with SiYu, Kleo, YenChing, Catherine, Christina. SiYu sat her bike today! Lols. Nothing much happened today. Had fun singing songs and playing around with all of them. After that, ate dinner with SiYu and Kleo. *siGh* Guess we said something that was not very nice about Royston. But girl, unpleasant stuffs always come out from the mouths of friends. Anyway, don't sad le kaez? We'll always be here! Don't forget, I sang that song for you. Waiting for you to say "Wo yuan yi." Lols.

Starting attachments on Monday again. But, we'll be going to sing more songs during the holidays after the attachment! Yay! Something nice to look forward to. Hehe.







*I'm sorry, dear. Looks like there's no more trust between the both of us huh?*

Paper today wasn't as bad as I thought. I'll be very contented if I get a pass. 2 more papers to go and exams will be over!

Studied for tomorrow's paper in school just now. Spent 2 hours and only completed 3 lectures. Worse, the paper will have 80 MCQs. Just by doing the MCQs will make me blur. Going early to school tomorrow to study again.

Have been having headaches very often these few days. Wonder what's wrong. ChinnYi injured her thumb. And she lied to me! Bad girl. Naughty girl. Lie to your happy friend. Lols.

Think its time I learnt to let go. I really should. Dragging on really only hurt both of us. I'll have to find another shelter for my babies too.

I should be studying Sociology now - the chimest module. I just cant sem to understand what is it talking about. How to study when I can't even understand it? *siGh*

I just don't feel like studying now. I'm sitting in front of my computer doing anything else except studying! What if I fail? I'm worried. But I everytime I take up the book to read, the words know me but I dunno them. And I feel so stressed up because of this.

Maybe I should go and study now. Try to force myself to stay at my table and read through the notes and memorise them. Hmm, maybe that's what I should do. Just memorise without understanding.

After tomorrow, I'll be a lot more relaxed.

I decided not to go ahead with my decision yet. He sent me a message, "Because I don't want to lose you.". This message made me not want to hurt him. (kleo, I think this time round, I xin1 luan3 le.) I met up with him today. I think I shouldn't have. Because I wanted to see my hamsters. And he was on the way home. We met each other halfway. Sometimes, I feel like stealing my hamsters back home. I just love them to bits. I'll have to go ahead with my decision. But not now. Kleo told me yesterday, " dragging on will only hurt both parties even more." But I can't bear to hurt him now.

Went to Kleo's house after that. Took so many photos and had dinner there. *Yummy* We chatted for quite a long time. We seem to have endless topics these few days. Lols.

One paper down and 3 left. I actually tried to memorise what they had in the past year papers and they actually came up with different questions! Die! I just hope my MCQs still can save me.

I'm still in the decision-making process. I hate making decisions. I hate having to weigh the pros and cons.

Met up with ChinnYi and Kleo for my pizza hut session yesterday. Started crapping as usual. But the session was a real short one. So when are we going for K-Boxing again? Very long since we last went, huh? I just love the both of them so much! They know what I don't want to admit to outsiders. They know the reason for my problems. I went over to Kleo's house after that and we started chatting. About everything. I guess I'm more certain about what I want. Thanks, girl!

Went to Orchard after the paper with SiYu, Kleo and Germaine. My legs are breaking soon. We walked from Far East Plaza to Plaza Singapura and back. *Gosh* And we continued walking around Far East Plaza. Looks like I can burn some calories from all these walking. Lols.

I'm sorry for whatever that I may do in the future~.

For the past few nights, I've been thinking that it's time to give my relationship a second thought. Reasons, I found out he's been lying to me about certain things[I cant't stand that] and I feel that we are drifting apart. It's not because I've taken a liking to someone else. Nothing to do with the entry that I typed about HIM coming back.

Found out that things weren't going smoothly for SiYu as well when I met up with her last Saturday. She told me her situation and I told her mine. She asked me a question that made me think for a long time. She asked me,"Can you bear to let him go?", I didn't answer her but it set me thinking. I feel so tired holding on to a relationship that has drifted apart but can I really bear to let him go? I know I do have feelings for him. But will it really last? He already have plans for his future but they aren't the same as mine. I know its good that he had everything planned out, but it's different from mine..

I just have a feeling that we won't last. Everything seem to have changed. *siGh* I'll leave everything till after exams. I don't want to affect my own examinations.

It's Valentine's Day yet I'm here blogging about something upsetting.. What's wrong with me..?

Was slacking at home the whole morning when I'm supposed to study. Watched VCDs and played games until the late afternoon. Felt so lazy the whole day. I had a dream last night. A sweet one? I dunno.

I dreamt that I broke up with Francis and I went to look fo SiWei[I dunno why] for a chat. I told him I broke up with Francis. He asked me what happened and hugged me real tight while I cried on his shoulders. After that, I dunno what happened, the setting was at his house. I went over after I went over to Francis' house to return the keys. Over there, we were chatting[i forgot about what..] and he kissed me suddenly. So wierd. After that, my phone rang. I answered the phone then I said I wanna go home already. He offered to send me home. Hmm, then I woke up.

Why would I dream of him suddenly? The feeling was so sweet.[Not about the breaking up part..] I have never felt like this before. Hmm..

I should be studying now. I planned to start studying this week. But I dunno where to start. I dunno what I should study. I didn't meet up with darling this week. Chatting with a friend once and he said, "in the beginning of the relationship - its honeymoon period. But as it goes along, many problem arises like money, time, trust..." So true. We didn't meet up because we were broke.

I just feel that we're drifting apart. We were chatting on the phone just now. But all he told me about was his game stuffs. I'm not interested to hear all these! I told him I'll be going out next Saturday already and he asked me to meet him. He's not even listening.

*siGh* I haven buy my three-quarters jeans yet! Gosh! I wonder when the 30% sales will end. I cant find it at the IMM branch. Have to go down to Jurong Point. Hmm... maybe tomorrow. Hehe. Then I have to meet up with ChinnYi to get the card. So many things to do this week.

Hmm.. Just went out with my mother and brother to watch "I Not Stupid Too". Nice movie. Very touching. The last time I watched "I not Stupid" was with Kleo and WeePeng they all. That was 4 years ago. Time passes so quickly.

Last day at the ward tomorrow. Hmm, think will miss everyone there. Got to know a few more friends. Sad to say, the next attachment, we will be at different ward again.

Was so tired the last 2 days. Slept through the afternoon for the past 2 days after my attachment. But that was what darling said, "girls without enough sleep will look old easily.". I'm just trying to get my extra rest. Haha. Not pigging.

Low JiaQian
01 October 1988
Libra
Staff Nurse

Graduation! - 22 MAy 2008
Sentosa Trip! - 26 July 2008
Trip to Night Safari! - 11 October 2008

kleo
chinnyi
francis
zeyan
grace
nathiya
6 babes
sue
huda
claire
chris
joo
jessica
shikin
caryn
lucius
mingli
kevin
chunkiat
xuanyou
bernard