.Tuesday, November 21, 2006 Y
Can I be emo in this entry for one last time? He deleted all the posts that I added after we broke up on our shared blog. I'm having mixed emotions now. I dunno if I should be angry or sad. A blog is supposed to put our feelings in right? Yet with just a few clicks of his mouse, he deleted those posts all together and he even said I was childish. But, I was like that when he knew me - and he used to like me because he said I was "cute". All of these feelings are all gone.
Every single time I decide to move on, he comes back doing something to hurt me. Its like vicious cycle. I'm moving on now. Give me some time will you? Yes, I'm a nurse but this is not any other wound. Its a broken heart. I'm still nursing it. Please don't traumatise it anymore will you? I'm trying very very hard to move on. But have you ever wondered, you wanted to move on alone, but do I want to move on without you? Do you realise that the many promises you made have actually made an impact in my life? I know its not alot, but it meant alot to me.
He said he's going to bring me overseas once every year - starting from next year, Hongkong. He said he's going to bring me for a shopping spree at VivoCity when he's slightly more free from work. He said we'll go Sentosa on one of the weekends to play & relax. He said he's going to bring me to the zoo once every year since we went on National Day. He said he's going to obtain the tickets to next year's National Day for me. He said I'm going to be the last girl he'll ever date. He said if there's a chance, he's going to bring me to his company's annual Dinner & Dance to show his colleagues what a "great girlfriend" he have. He said he'll bring me to catch the sunset at this reservior in Singapore. He said he's going to start to save up for his marriage. So that by the time after I graduate for 3 years, we'll be able to get married.
But they'll never be done anymore. I've learnt to accept it. But he doesn't believe me. He thinks I'm still hoping for a patch. From the day he rejected the patch, I've given up all hopes. It's so unlike me to beg and I won't. I won't say I'm going to commit sucide just to get him back. It won't help.
I'm going to move on now. But I guess I'll still be waiting for this short period of time. But at the end of all these, I'll really move on in life.
waiting for you right here
11:33:00 PM
