.Sunday, December 03, 2006 Y
Up till this moment, I don't understand why has things happened so suddenly. It was just days ago when you were so sweet to me and all of a sudden, I had to let go of you. I know its my fault for being so possessive, for not trusting you. But instead of helping me to feel more secure in the relationship, you chose to let me try to trust you and finally, give up this relationship.
You told me you felt guilty for having not enough time for me. But I have never once complained or mind. Because I knew you had to work. I really didn't mind having to wait till 2am when you tell me you are safely home.
At the point when you decided to break up, have you ever thought about the little things we have done for each other? And because of these little things I know that you have done for me, I'm unwilling to give up.
At the point when you asked me to make my decision and you said you'll respect it, did you really decide that you will respect mine? You didn't in the end. I respected yours by giving you up but you didn't respect mine.
On that fateful Sunday, I told myself you were not heartless. Because you were still there to tell me everything's going to be fine. You were still there to dry my tears when I cried. But now, I dunno if I can still tell myself that. I used to tell myself, believe him. He said he can't promise that he'll be back but he also didn't say that he won't be back. This is the last chance to believe him. I hold on to this belief every night to stop crying.
I still remember the night on 5th August when you rushed all the way down from Indoor Stadium to Orchard to have that dinner with me, you lent me your jacket when I said I was cold, you flagged the cab and said I was like a princess that you served, you allowed me to lie on your shoulder to rest, you accompanied me all the way to my doorstep and you sms-ed me late at night to sleep early for work the next day.
I still remember the night on 6th August when you came down to pick me up from work, when you sms-ed me that you were happy with me, missed me and think that you have fallen in love with me. You held me hand and asked me if I'll ever regret being with you.
I still remember going to the Strudel House on 7th August after school. You said we'll go there again.
I still remember going for the fireworks display on 8th August after your work.
I still remember going to the zoo with you on National Day and we played like 2 little kids there. I remember you promising to get the tickets to next year's parade and to go to the zoo on every National Day.
I remember the birthday surprise you planned for me. The chalet, the bicycle rides, the present, the cake and the sunrise.
I still remember the 2 nights when I have you falling asleep beside me, when we had each other to spend the night and day with.
Tell me its all a nightmare.
waiting for you right here
9:59:00 PM
